I was a really dumb kid…


Kids do say the darndest things, but perhaps they think even sillier things. As I grew up, most people knew I was dumb, but at least, I knew it too.

When I rode in a car and saw a ‘yield’ sign, I wondered why the sign would tell us to do such a terrible thing. On Sunday we sang, “Yield not to temptation, for yielding is sin.” I thought drivers had to sin.

My uncle and aunt were named Merle and Edith. When Mother said we were going to Merle ‘n Edith’s house I thought she was calling my Uncle’s name. For the longest time I believed he was named Merlnedith.

Maybe because of how my mind works I particularly enjoyed reading: Book Me a Room in Capacitated. The article is in Reader’s Digest and is said to be found at PlanetProctor.com. I never found it there (Told you I am dumb) and some of his stuff isn’t family friendly, but he does have a sense of humor. Just a few lines from ‘Book Me…’ –

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone–you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, been in Sane. You have to be driven there.

I can relate to most of Proctor’s humor. Maybe it is because I was a major hypochondriac while growing up and my mind just didn’t work the way the smart kid’s minds worked.

Once I cut my fingernail too much and Mother said it hurt because I had hit the ‘quick’. I thought I was going to die from the trim. If I had two red spots close together I was sure that I had been snake bitten.

Are all dumb people literal thinkers? I got laughed at on more than one occasion for taking things that were said literally. Once on the school bus I encountered the sister of a boy I had ‘told on’ the day before. She threatened me with, “You just tell on him again!” I really had not planned on telling again, but thought maybe I should if that was what she really wanted. I think my sister finally explained the situation to me.

I would search our pasture for hours looking for baby kittens. The mother cat came in with kittens once so why couldn’t I find kittens too?

When I read cartoons, I sometimes pretended that I was in the cartoon. That is called egotistical, I guess.

If you like cartoons, you might like The Funny Times Cartoon site where one is permitted to make and share the cartoons they envision.

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About jlue

I am a grandmother of seven and I like to garden, read, study the Bible, and spend time with family. I am not very politically active, but very interested in who is elected to lead our country.
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One Response to I was a really dumb kid…

  1. Robert Flanigan says:

    Re: Reader’s Digest ‘Capacitated’ in Planet Proctor.
    I couldn’t find it either.
    I could have re-typed it in the time I spent looking.
    It was fun thinking of Firesign Theatre though.

    Like

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